Interesting experience

Today I had the opportunity to go on a campus tour with a good friend of mine. She showed me around to all the places I've never taken the opportunity to visit until now. On this tour I met with a lady who told this story of her puppy with "special needs." She has a pug puppy, Coach, who, as he's growing, keeps developing more physical disabilities. I'm not sure of the exact order of these developments, but Coach's hind legs are too short, and do not function properly. He is partially blind in his right eye, and has urinary incontinence due to prostate problems. I believe she also told that this little guy has to take antibiotics for his kidneys and two different types of drops in his eye. She proceeded to tell how she bought newborn baby diapers to alleviate problem with “leaking,” but how diapers don’t exactly accommodate male puppy anatomy and fall short of the intended source of the leak. She decided that the best way to handle this problem was having the puppy wear little boy’s underwear (you know the ones with little cartoon characters) with maxi pads inside! Despite all his problems, he gets along just fine, I guess. It was quite an interesting experience. It’s not everyday that you meet someone and they tell you about their puppy’s need for children's underwear and feminine hygiene products.

Leave it to the Americans to complain...

I stumbled upon this story while catching up on the Olympic happenings of the day. article Sometimes being American isn't always such a proud moment. Here we have the finest athletes in the world coming together to compete in what may be the most prestigious event known to man, and the Americans have to complain. Suck it up! You're in Italy for the Olympics. Get your snooty nose out of the air and be grateful for what you have. You're representing your country; let your fellow countrymen be proud and not embarrassed by you!

Good read

I'm not entirely bitter all the time, and here's the proof. I've started a good book and it's made me somewhat less hateful for the time-being. Just thought I'd share. John Stossel wrote a book, "Give Me a Break." I'm just starting Chapter 4, but it's really good so far. He writes about how he started working for 20/20 and some of the stories he worked on there. Kinda reminds me of Freakonomics; which, by the way, is another great book. I highly recommend it.

Everyone's enjoying the Olympics

I've been watching the Olympics in the evenings after work and, as you can see in the picture, Axle has been intrigued, as well. This isn't the first instance I've noticed him watching tv. Initially it was Sesame Street (especially Elmo) and the dog show; however, since the onset of the Olympics he's been watching quite a bit of television. He seem to be most interested in figure skating, curling, and hockey. I think it has to do with all the motion and the contrast on white ice. Maybe he's just so sick of Law & Order that anything else appears interesting...

Breaker, Breaker, 1-9

REASON # 54839123954745748289230103495757189244893282758 why I hate working with Barney: He insists on using the walkie-talkie ALL THE TIME, and when he talks on it he acts like he's part of some covert mission against Cambodian insurgents. He, literally, hunches down at his desk over the radio and covers his mouth so other people cannot read his lips. Then, maintenance, on the receiving end of his "transmission" will reply, repeating exactly what he's just whispered, letting everyone know that the toilet in the men's locker room is overflowing. As if this behavior isn't annoying enough, he has to pretend like he's actually a truck driver, using terms like "breaker breaker," "10-4," and "over and out." HONESTLY! I just want to shove that radio right up his...

What woman in her right mind...

Today Barney may have successfully become the lamest person, EVER! The men's basketball coach and his wife are expecting their second baby, due anytime now. One of the players stopped by and jokingly asked, "You ready to deliver coach's baby in case it comes tonight?" And he replies, "Yeah, I read up on childbirth just in case I got the opportunity to deliver it. I'm really excited; I've always wanted to deliver a baby." WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Because reading up on something makes you an expert. Well, let me read up on piloting a plane, put that on my resume' and just start flying. That makes me qualified, I read up on it! Right... We're not talking about cleaning out an abrasion, or applying an icebag. This is childbirth! But more importantly, what parent-to-be would let this man aid, in any capacity, in bringing their child into the world. This man cannot even successfully impregnate his own wife, so how is he capable of delivering someone else's baby? He probably couldn't refrain from making some sexist, off-color remark if he was given the opportunity, if he could stop giggling like a giddy schoolgirl at the sight of a vagina.

Do Ya Think Rod Stewart's Sexy?

While cleaning my apartment today I had a revelation. Alright, I'll admit it, I’m that person who turns up the music and sings while I’m cleaning. Today just happened to be a spotlight feature on Rod Stewart. I’ve recently found an admiration for Rod, but as I blared Do Ya Think I’m Sexy, it occurred to me how unique and distinct his voice. Sexy? Maybe not so much, but unique, yes. I tried to determine what my appreciation was based on, and I may have discovered it. No matter how badly you sing, anyone can sound fabulous accompanying Rod Stewart. So I guess what I’m getting at is that I admire anyone who can make me sound like a fabulous singer, but the vacuum probably helped.

Instant karma's gonna get you?

I'm not sure if it's karma, or maybe it's just fate... Call it what you like, but poor Barney has not been having great luck recently. Earlier this week he had more computer issues. When talking with IT, he was less than courteous with the person he spoke with on the phone and had a bit of a confrontation with her supervisor when he came to pick up his computer. Barney informed him that he “did not appreciate that his computer was not working.” And Mr. Tech Support informed him that it wasn’t due to anything that IT had done, and he had no reason to speak to any of his staff in the way that he had addressed the student. I would venture to guess that his computer issue was not a top priority when it reached the IT office. As if not having his computer all week wasn’t enough to push him over the edge, this morning when I arrived at work, it appeared that Barney’s car had brought about the early demise of a deer. Sure enough, he was holding his own pity party in the office today because he was in a rush to get to work and hit the deer at 50 mph. Let me emphasize that I don’t generally find pleasure in the misfortune of others (except for Barney’s); although, I do feel terrible that an animal lost its life in this event. Sometimes people just get what they deserve, and Barney’s had it coming.

Find a Valentine for your health

Since I've started teaching a wellness class I try to keep an eye out for interesting health information. I ran across this today and since it's getting close to Valentine's day I wanted to give you enough time to find someone special to help improve your overall health and wellbeing!

Love doesn't only keep us happy—it fights disease, boosts immunity and lowers stress.

by Sarah Mahoney, Prevention magazine

Who doesn't love being in love? A true Valentine listens to you vent about work, lets you have that last slice of pizza, and (usually) remembers to take out the trash. He doesn't expect you to watch the Super Bowl. And he always thinks you're sexy, even in thermal underwear and bunny slippers.

Scientists have long been keen to prove that love gives us health benefits, too—beyond the obvious advantage of always having a date for New Year's Eve. Researchers can't say for sure that romance trumps an affectionate family or warm friendships when it comes to wellness. But they are homing in on how sex, kinship and caring all seem to make us stronger, with health gains that range from faster healing and better control over chronic illnesses to living longer.

The benefits of love are explicit and measurable:

A study last year from the University of Pittsburgh found that women in good marriages have a much lower risk of cardiovascular disease than those in high-stress relationships.The National Longitudinal Mortality Study, which has been tracking more than a million subjects since 1979, shows that married people live longer, have fewer heart attacks and lower cancer rates, and even get pneumonia less frequently than singles.And a new study from the University of Iowa found that ovarian cancer patients with a strong sense of connection to others and satisfying relationships had more vigorous "natural killer" cell activity at the site of the tumor than those who didn't have those social ties. (These desirable white blood cells kill cancerous cells as part of the body's immune system.)

Some experts think it won't be long before doctors prescribe steamy sex, romantic getaways and caring communication in addition to low-cholesterol diets and plenty of rest. If that sounds like a happy Rx, here are ways to make the emerging evidence translate into real-life advice.

The benefits of bear hugs

Doctors at the University of North Carolina have found that hugging may dramatically lower blood pressure and boost blood levels of oxytocin, a relaxing hormone that plays a key role in labor, breastfeeding and orgasms.

Researchers asked couples to sit close to one another and talk for 10 minutes, then share a long hug; afterward they found positive, albeit small, changes in both blood pressure and oxytocin.

But the power of frequent daily hugging was intense: The women with the highest oxytocin levels had systolic blood pressure that was 10 mm/Hg lower than women with low oxytocin levels—an improvement similar to the effect of many leading blood pressure medications, says Kathleen Light, Ph.D., a professor of psychiatry at UNC and one of the study's authors.

"Getting more daily hugs from their husbands was related to higher oxytocin, and so the hugs were indirectly related to lower blood pressure," she says. Men didn't get the blood pressure benefit from hugging. But don't feel bad for him: He probably gets the same health gains from steady sex that you do from daily snuggling.

A 2002 study from the University of Bristol in England found that men who had sex two or more times a week cut their risk of having a fatal heart attack in half. And a recent study from the National Cancer Institute found that men who ejaculate frequently may be protecting themselves against prostate cancer.

Hotel California

This morning I heard The Eagles’ Hotel California. I remember hearing this song when I was a kid and then having nightmares about it. Crazy, right? Well, have you ever listened to the lyrics???

And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the master's chambers, they gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can't kill the beast
Last thing I remember, I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before
'Relax' said the nightman, We are programed to receive.
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

Steely knives? A beast you can’t kill? Never being able to leave? Mmm hmmm. Sleep tight.

I don't even think Orbitz could have cleaned up this dirty mouth

Random, I know, but last night my dog found a rotten, dead fish outside and decided it would be fun to eat it. Regular dog breath is not the sweetest thing to the olfactory senses, but this was the foulest thing I’ve ever been exposed to. Ten peppermint lifesavers didn’t even put a dent in the problem. The next attempt was Winterfresh gum, but apparently dogs don’t know that you’re supposed to chew gum and he just swallowed it. By this time, the entire house was starting to smell of this putrid stench, and even after spraying room freshener and lighting candles the odor was still enough to make me want to vomit. After an attempt to descent him by wiping his face with baby wipes, I decided there was no other alternative and I had to brush his teeth. He got some Colgate straight to the source of the problem and then his head and face shampooed. He actually didn’t object to the teeth-brushing and swallowed most of the toothpaste, which I know you aren’t supposed to let happen, but I figured if he ate a rotten fish and that didn’t kill him, a little toothpaste wouldn’t do him in, either. I finally discovered a use for those perfume sample inserts that come in magazines, and Axle's now the new spokes dog for Ralph Lauren’s Polo Sport.

Happy job?

Driving home yesterday it occurred to me that there has to be a "happy job." I'm on the verge of a new career and until I arrive upon what it is I "want" to do, I'm considering random other options. Pondering this thought of a happy job, I've concluded that there is a more-pleasant option: a greeting card store!
-How often do you really frequent the greeting card store? It's not like you're going to have regular "bad" customers.
-Customers don't come into a greeting card store for "I hate my co-worker" cards, "I'm looking for reasons to annoy you" cards, or "I think I may have contracted genital herpes from you" cards.
-People require little assistance in choosing a card. In many instances, a customer is going to have a personal interest in what is being sent and not ask for help. As a matter of fact, aside from the actual purchase, what aid does anyone need in the gesture of card-giving?
-Most people who enter the store are going to be in a good mood. I love my significant other and I want to buy him/her a card to express this affection. My nephew is turning seven. A friend is getting married. You get the idea.
-How often do you go into a card store knowing exactly which card you wanted only to be angry that they're all out? NEVER! ah-haaaaaaaa! It's just not that big of a deal.
-You don't generally buy cards for people you hate, unless you work with them and they're leaving!
-Even if you are buying a card for someone who is going through a rough time in their life, your intentions are meaning well, so you're a generally good person... right?

I also considered why someone would be disgruntled. Let's say you're frantically shopping for a last minute baby shower gift and realize you need a card. Okay, so you're in a rush and don't want to look through hundreds of cutesy baby cards. You may be a bit irritated, but not disgruntled. The only other option I could think of was the situation that you're slightly bitter or maybe very bitter of the occasion that you're well-wishing. A wedding for a friend when you're still single. Baby congratulations when you've been unable to have children. Graduation congrats for your sibling when you can't pass Chem 117. But who's actually going to be so superficial that they show these negative feelings outwardly? They may be thinking it, but they're not going to say that they're jealous of someone else's good fortune.

I may be the next person you're buying your greeting cards from...

Why did I choose a profession of compassion?

As an athletic trainer I am supposed to facilitate an athlete's healing and get them back to their previous or projected level of participation. I have an athlete who had ACL reconstruction in December. Initially, I was excited to have something to do at work and agreed to see this athlete twice a day for therapy. Three days a week for the a.m. session we would do aquatic therapy followed by rehabilitation in the training room, with the other two days being double sessions of the training room exercises. She is less than motivated to do her rehab and has recently decided that she doesn't need to follow-up with her doctor anymore. She discontinued using her crutches upon her own "professional advise," and has to be constantly reminded of the task at hand. She's the type of person that has to be praised for everything she does, showing up for rehab sessions, performing her exercises without being told, counting to 20, breathing... you get the idea. So she's recently been less than cosistant at showing up for rehab, and had to be reminded that if she doesn't make great strides in improvement within the next few weeks, she's not going to be able to return to participation. She has agreed that it is important to do her exercises and yesterday she did show up for her two sessions. Neglecting that she hasn't shown up for both or either session for the past two weeks, she apparently expected some sort of welcome back party, and was disappointed that I wasn't bubbling over with glee at her return. She proceeded to justify that she had shown up twice for her schedule rehab and that I should be proud of her. Proud? Why proud? You haven't shown up for 2 weeks, you aren't wearing your brace, you discontinued using your crutches against my advice, you haven't scheduled your follow-up appointment (which is 2 weeks late), and you haven't showered at anytime that could be considered recently. Excuse me if I'm not elated that you're back. I'm fresh out of patience and compassion right now. Grow up and deal with it. You are an adult, it's time for you to take responsibility for your well-being. MY KNEES DON'T HURT!

Spacecraft to Save the Human Race

When I walked into the classroom this morning I found this assignment from a previous class. My class is taking an exam so I'll post this to keep me occupied.

The United States has discovered a planet, Futura, in another galaxy whose environment is very similar to the Earth's. There is every indication that the planet will be able to support human life, although no human life has been detected on Futura. The US has just completed a spaceship that will be able to travel to Futura. The spaceship was built on a remote island in the Pacific Ocean and will only hold seven people. Your subgroup has been appointed by the government to select the first seven people to go to Futura. Your subgroup is in frequent contact with the chief scientist for this project. The spaceship is remarkable in that it has a new computer system that has already been programmed to automatically guide the ship to Futura without requiring a pilot.

Suddenly, a nuclear war breaks out among the world powers. It is New Year's Eve. Russia, China, The U.S. and Israel are already launching their nuclear warheads. It looks like the nuclear destruction may eliminate human civilization on this planet. The chief scientist frantically calls. The spaceship must take off in fifteen minutes to Futura or it will be destroyed. She and your subgroup believe that the seven people that go may be the only people left to start the human race again.

There are thirteen people at the spaceship. You must decide who will be selected. You have only fifteen minutes to make a decision. If a decision is not made in fifteen minutes, a nuclear warhead is apt to hit the island and destroy the spaceship. All you know about the thirteen people is the following:
1. Chief scientist, female, 47 years old
2. Hispanic peasant, female, 4 months pregnant
3. Black male, 3rd year medical student
4. White female, prostitute, 27 years old, Communist
5. While male, homosexual, Olympic athlete, 24 years old
6. White biology professor, 67 years old
7. Rabbi, 27 years old
8. White female, on general relief, 28 years old, arrested for several felonies, never been employed
9. Female home economist, 24 years old, white, has cerebral palsy
10. Korean child, male, 8 years old
11. White male, moderately retarded due to lack of oxygen at birth
12. White female elementary schoolteacher, 27 years old, has genital herpes
13. 28-year old white farmer who has a vasectomy

Who do you choose?

Liar, liar, pants on fire

Barney is a strange, strange man. On Monday at softball practice one of my athletes approached me to tell me that she just had an odd conversation with Barney. I think it's quite obvious to Barney that I don't care much for him. He asked this athlete if she knew anything about me looking for another job. **sidebar: the previous athletic trainer in my position resigned because of him, and I think he is somewhat concerned that he may be exposed as the person he is if I also resign because of him.** Barney proceeded to tell about “faculty evaluations” that we filled out about one another. One portion of this “evaluation” asked the evaluator to use one word to describe the person being evaluated. He told that the word he felt best described me was “sensitive,” and that I wrote that he was “knowledgeable/crazy.” Funny thing is, I’ve never filled out an evaluation on Barney, and after speaking with other faculty members, no evaluations were even passed out. And in case you’re wondering, I can’t say that I would choose knowledgeable as my one word. Several words come to mind, but that doesn’t seem to be one of them… What is wrong with some people?

Why are some people so stupid?

I'm a professor here at this college, as well, and this is an email from one of my students that I received today.

I have a very large facor and question for you.
I know the test is Thursday and I was wondering if there was ANYWAY I could make
it up (like tomorrow or anytime) because there is a large group of people going
to see a nice groundhog named Punatawney Phil Thursday morning and I would not
be back for the test.
I definitely think my education and your class is more important than a
groundhog but this is really an opportunity I don't want to miss.
I figured it was worth a try to ask. Please don't think I am a negligent
student, because I am not.
I've even made study notecards for the test already.
Just thought I would ask.
Thanks
Neely

As if that isn't enough, after I reply telling her she cannot take the exam at any other time, this is her response.

Well if you do change your mind I am free the total rest of the day to take the
test.
Thanks
Neely

Then this.

Or also, if you thought it was unfair to take the test after the rest of the
class (which I totally do understand) then I would be willing to take a much
harder one if you thought that was more fair.

And about the test, when I made my notecards you wrote to study nutrients and
the percents, and I am just having trouble finding that in the book and knowing
what exactly you are looking for with that topic.
Thanks
Neely

So now I'm an idiot and by requesting tutorial help about the test I'm going to forget about the absurdity of her previous requests??? SERIOUSLY!!!