Frankenstorm

With the recent winter weather we've had, I've had the opportunity to try out a lot of new things I've pinned on Pinterest.  Here a some photos of what I've been up to.  Enjoy!

This is the cake I made for my nephew's 1st birthday party.  I saw a pin where she used Reese's pieces to cover a basketball cake.  I used the brown Reese's pieces and white Good'n'Plenty to cover this cake.  I also used a recipe for icing made from a pudding mix and Cool Whip.  The icing was delicious; however, it didn't hold the candies on very well.  Live and learn!

These are the cupcakes I also made for his party.  I found the idea on Pinterest and used the pudding frosting with a can of chocolate frosting to make it brown.  Again, it tasted delicious, just like Wendy's frosties; however, it was a little melty and didn't hold up real well when it got warm.

This is another idea I saw to use Armor Etch to personalize Pyrex dishes.  I cut the stencil out with my Cricut on contact paper, and then applied the Armor Etch.  Really easy and so cute!  It was a huge hit as a birthday gift for a friend.  I'm feeling some Christmas inspiration coming on!

I've been doing a good bit of sewing lately and really dislike my little tomato pin cushion that I have, so I searched Pinterest for pin cushions.  I found this idea, and since I've been collecting baby food jars for the perfect inspiration, I decided to raid my stash for this cute little thing!  It was really very simple and turned out pretty well, if I don't say so myself!  I had all the supplies already in my stash, so I didn't have to venture out to shop either, which is a big plus!

Flip Flop Organization

Another idea I saw on Pinterest that I modified and am so excited about!  My flip flops don't sit so well on the shoe racks I use in my closet, so they were strewn about on the floor and it was difficult to find them when I wanted them.  Perusing around Pinterest I found several pins with metal hangers that were cut and bent to hold flip flops.  I then saw one pin where child-sized hangers were used.  Genius!  I used an adjustable shower curtain rod and the little plastic hangers and in no time at all...  

Magnetic store list.

Just this week I finally joined Pinterest and have now become obsessed...  In the last 3 days I have created more from the inspiration I've pinned than I have in the last 3 months.  I wanted to share today's project.  I combined a couple of the ideas I saw on Pinterest to get the idea for this project.  

This will go in the kitchen to us communicate what we have and what we need to buy when we're at the store.  The supplies I bought were large glass gems (from the dollar store), modge podge, magnets, a cookie sheet, and gorilla glue.  I used my paper punch to punch 1 1/4" circles of patterned paper from my stash.  

Once I had all the circles punched, I wrote the various staples we generally have on our shopping list.  I used the ultra fine point Sharpie markers.

Then, brush the front side of the paper with modge podge glue and stick to the glass gems.  Allow this to dry a couple minutes.

Apply the magnets with gorilla glue and I used clothes pins as a clamp.  Allow to dry for 1 hour.

I used stickers to spell out "need" and "have" on my cookie sheet.

The waiting is the hardest part.

Today Dad and I went to a funeral viewing at the same church Mom's services were in. This happens to be the first one I've been to at the church since Mom's services. The sense of smell has a strong correlation to memory. There's a certain smell associated with death and funerals. It's very distinct, very somber. The moment we walked into the sanctuary I felt all the emotions rush back and it was so very familiar.

One of the family member mentioned something about today being one of the hardest days of their lives. Having so recently been there, I have to say that the blur of days from the time Mom died until she was buried were not easy, but have, by no means, been the hardest days. Initially, the body is numb to almost everything that is happening, and you're in such a whirlwind of emotions that you don't even begin to process everything that is going on. You are surrounded by family and friends, and every waking moment you find yourself within someone else's embrace. You feel comfort. You have experienced a loss, but you have yet to feel it. It's the days, weeks, and months that follow that people begin to forget and you just being to realize what has actually happened to you. There isn't a single day that goes by that you don't remember. The empty place at every meal is a reminder. Mother's Day is a reminder. Songs on the radio. Restaurants. Everything... You sometimes feel as if you're suffocating within your own body. You become an experienced pretender, sometimes almost fooling yourself. You yearn for sleep because that's the only time your mind isn't thinking, and yet even then the thinking sometimes happens. You take a shower and put on clean clothes, hoping that you can convince yourself of something you know just isn't true, or that maybe just going through the motions will bring about some miracle of peace. There is a huge hole in your soul, a void that cannot be filled, not matter how hard you try. There's a hurt so painful and so deep within yourself that nothing soothes it. You strive to remember what "normal" feels like, but then realize how ridiculous that is. The "normal" that you once knew is no more. People politely ask how you're getting along, but you think that most of them don't really want to know the truth, so you smile, and lie. It's the same lie you tell yourself, "I'm doing okay," hoping that maybe this time you'll believe it. The more you long to be "okay" the further away "okay" seems to be. It's a trip you don't get to take, a destination that you just can't quite reach. The great philosopher, Tom Petty, wrote, "The waiting is the hardest part." Today, I believe that. Waiting to feel whole again. Waiting to be "okay." Waiting to be better than okay. Waiting for normal. The waiting is the hardest part.

July 11, 2011

It's been quite a while since I've posted anything and I suppose it's mainly because I haven't had much worth talking about. We completed the cookbooks, sold the first 348, and have already ordered and received 341 more copies. They turned out really well and I'm sure Mom would have been pleased. The first Susi Miller Memorial Scholarships were awarded in May. Here is a picture of the recipients, William Bolinger, III and Emily Barger. Billy will be attending WVU and Emily will be attending Fairmont State.Mom's headstone was set at the cemetery sometime last week. It looks very nice, but was much harder for me to see than I expected. For some reason the reality of losing her surfaced again, maybe actually seeing the stone with her name on it. I've had a little more down time this summer, not having to go to work, so that makes it a little harder, as well.

As time passes, people say that this will get easier. Some days are easier than others, but there are still times when the hurt is as fresh as it was in the beginning, maybe worse. We've now each had a birthday, Mother's Day, and Father's Day. I'm not sure Mother's Day will ever get any easier.

We're now in the midst of planning a benefit dinner that will take place on August 28. Dad chose this date close to what would have been Mom's 50th birthday on August 30. It is our hope that this will become a yearly event this time each August.

COOKBOOKS!!!

We have completed our compilation of the cookbook and submitted it to the publisher. We anticipate it being back by mid-May. Reserve your belated Mother's Day or early Christmas gifts today! The books are hardcovered, 3-ring, with 300 recipes for a $15 donation to the Susi Miller Memorial Scholarship. You can reserve your copy today, if you're interested in pre-paying, send cash or check (to Misty or Jeff Miller) to 106 N. Price St. Kingwood, WV 26537. We're so grateful to all of you who contributed, helping the project fall together perfectly! We have ordered 300 cookbooks and already have 112 reserved!

February 21, 2011

The scholarship is up and running! We've submitted our application and we'll wait for the candidate to submit their completed applications now. This has been a great way for our family to grieve our loss while honoring the memory of Mom. If you're interested in contributing to the scholarship fund, you can make a check payable to the Mt. Moriah Church with "Susi Scholarship" in the memo. You can mail your checks to me (106 N. Price St. Kingwood, WV 26537) and I will see that they are taken care of. The church has agreed to work with us to allow for contributions to be tax deductible without us forming our own foundation. They have created a separate account and will take care of collecting and distributing the scholarship to the recipient(s) we select each year. Thanks to those of you who have already contributed. You've helped us quickly make this dream a reality.

In order to raise money to support our scholarship we've decided to compile a cookbook. This was something Mom wanted to do when she recovered and so I'm going to take care of this for her. Her idea was to collect recipes from those of you who cooked meals for us while she was sick. I want to extend this to all of our family and friends, so the recipes will be apart of the people who have been important in all of our lives. I'm hoping to collect at least 150 recipes, so look through your favorites and send along anything you'd be willing to share. I'm hoping to have it ready this summer, depending on the response I get, so let me know if you're willing to participate.

Dad is also wanting to organize a benefit dinner that will take place some time in August. Mom would have celebrated her 50th birthday on August 30th, so this may become a yearly event that serves as a means of supporting the scholarship and also as a reminder of the wonderful person she was. I hope to have the cookbooks ready by then, as well as have a raffle or auction of some sort. Lindsay Jenkins has already donated a coupon for teeth whitening and Tammy Light made a beautiful homemade WVU afghan for us to raffle off. We're still in the early planning phases of this endeavor and would appreciate any and all help available. Please feel free to contact me via a comment on the blog, or by email mistydmiller13@gmail.com.

February 6, 2011

It has nearly been a month since we lost Mom. I thought about her a lot today. We've been working on the application for the scholarship and it is just about ready. I have to put some finishing touches on it and then we'll send it on its way. After church today we went out to eat at Applebees. Just before we left I made a stop in the restroom. Mom and I always had this "game" we played in public restrooms--she always seemed to end up in the stall next to me and before I could finish, there would be a streamer of toilet paper come flying over the side of the stall. I would generally laugh quietly and throw a streamer back over to her. It was a game that we never talked about, but always smiled about, a special secret, just between the two of us. Anyway, I suppose today was the first time since Mom's been gone that we've eaten out and I've used the restroom and I wanted so badly to see that streamer of toilet paper come flying over the side of the stall. So there I was, tearing up in the bathroom, wishing for flying toilet paper...

The reality of her absence is setting in in small ways like this more and more each day. I haven't dried a load of laundry without cleaning out the lint filter, a chore that she nagged me incessantly about, "You're going to catch the house on fire if you don't keep the lint filter cleaned out." As I climb the stairs from the basement, I almost feel the need to say out loud, "Yes, Mom, I remembered to clean out the lint filter..." I haven't pre-heated the oven without first checking for the pots and pans she routinely stored inside, even though I know they won't be there. I believe I only look now, hoping to find the pots and pans hiding in the oven just like I longed for that toilet paper to come floating through the air today. Sometimes I call her phone, knowing she isn't going to answer, just to hear the sound of her voice on her voicemail message.

Several times a day I will catch myself thinking, "Mom would have loved to have done this," or "That's something Mom would have liked." Just yesterday I saw someone I hadn't seen for years and though, "I can't wait to tell Mom how much he's changed since the last time we saw him..." I'm not sure that these thoughts will ever disappear. And then again, I'm not sure that I want them to.