I don't even think Orbitz could have cleaned up this dirty mouth

Random, I know, but last night my dog found a rotten, dead fish outside and decided it would be fun to eat it. Regular dog breath is not the sweetest thing to the olfactory senses, but this was the foulest thing I’ve ever been exposed to. Ten peppermint lifesavers didn’t even put a dent in the problem. The next attempt was Winterfresh gum, but apparently dogs don’t know that you’re supposed to chew gum and he just swallowed it. By this time, the entire house was starting to smell of this putrid stench, and even after spraying room freshener and lighting candles the odor was still enough to make me want to vomit. After an attempt to descent him by wiping his face with baby wipes, I decided there was no other alternative and I had to brush his teeth. He got some Colgate straight to the source of the problem and then his head and face shampooed. He actually didn’t object to the teeth-brushing and swallowed most of the toothpaste, which I know you aren’t supposed to let happen, but I figured if he ate a rotten fish and that didn’t kill him, a little toothpaste wouldn’t do him in, either. I finally discovered a use for those perfume sample inserts that come in magazines, and Axle's now the new spokes dog for Ralph Lauren’s Polo Sport.