Why are some people so stupid?

I'm a professor here at this college, as well, and this is an email from one of my students that I received today.

I have a very large facor and question for you.
I know the test is Thursday and I was wondering if there was ANYWAY I could make
it up (like tomorrow or anytime) because there is a large group of people going
to see a nice groundhog named Punatawney Phil Thursday morning and I would not
be back for the test.
I definitely think my education and your class is more important than a
groundhog but this is really an opportunity I don't want to miss.
I figured it was worth a try to ask. Please don't think I am a negligent
student, because I am not.
I've even made study notecards for the test already.
Just thought I would ask.
Thanks
Neely

As if that isn't enough, after I reply telling her she cannot take the exam at any other time, this is her response.

Well if you do change your mind I am free the total rest of the day to take the
test.
Thanks
Neely

Then this.

Or also, if you thought it was unfair to take the test after the rest of the
class (which I totally do understand) then I would be willing to take a much
harder one if you thought that was more fair.

And about the test, when I made my notecards you wrote to study nutrients and
the percents, and I am just having trouble finding that in the book and knowing
what exactly you are looking for with that topic.
Thanks
Neely

So now I'm an idiot and by requesting tutorial help about the test I'm going to forget about the absurdity of her previous requests??? SERIOUSLY!!!