January 27, 2011

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks since we've lost Mom. It's hard for me to describe the feelings I feel. Actually, it's harder to explain the way I don't feel anything. There is currently no happy, no sad, just going through the motions trying to make some sense of what's going on. Maybe that's just the body's natural protection mechanism to avoid grief overload. I think we're all dealing with things in our own ways and we're doing alright. This post if for Stevie since you've been missing my updates, and someday soon I'll post my tribute from Mom's funeral.

Dad is still camped out here in town with me. It's nice to have someone around and to not just come home to a cold, empty house. We've been trying to stay busy with basketball games and regular trips to Wal-Mart. He's been back to work almost 2 weeks now and that has been a way to resume some new normalcy to our lives. I can't think that we'll ever have "normal" again. It seems that Axle is making it his duty to ensure that Dad doesn't get too lonely at night, and therefore alternates spending the night with Dad and me. Tonight is Dad's night.

I apologize to those of you who have called, emailed, sent texts, or any other attempt to contact me that I have not returned. I'm trying to sort things out for myself and while I appreciate your concern, I just haven't felt much like talking. I'm sure this will pass with time, but for now I'm just doing my own thing and I appreciate your understanding. It's difficult to try to resume your life when a huge part is no longer present and I have an easier time with everything when I don't have to talk about it.

Anyway, the main purpose of this post is to let everyone know that we've decided to set up a scholarship in memory of Mom. We're hustling to get things arranged quickly so we can issue it this spring at the awards ceremony at Preston High. Dad has put a lot of thought into this and we're all on board to hopefully provide a student with an opportunity that Mom never had. We haven't ironed out all the details, but I'm sure that things will just fall into place as they're supposed to and it will be as it is meant to be. If you'd like more information or are interested in contributing, send me an email and I'll get you the information.